I cannot put into words the exhaustion I’m gradually feeling lately. Don’t get me wrong, I’m really grateful and excited to learn new stuff and be part of some of my friends’ milestones in life, but you know, when you try to juggle all of these stuff at once, there will be a time for drawback and longing for rest. Physical rest, that is.
Since I became a Christian, my life became really busy. Like hella busy (I just used this since I was trying to describe how I feel. Don’t take it against me as a Christian. LOL). To show how much I really longed for rest, here is a rundown of my activities last February, the busiest month of them all (at least for me):
1st weekend of February – Gelaii and Dondee’s wedding @ Hillcreek Gardens, Tagaytay
2nd weekend of February –Chuchie & Charlie’s wedding @ Palazzo Verde, Alabang
3rd weekend of February – Start of my Foundations Class @ Victory Alabang
4th weekend of February – Boss Erwin and Ann‘s wedding @ Don Bosco, Makati
Oh, yeah! And then the weekend after that, I met up with my high school friends for Aien’s wedding preps + gown fitting. The wedding will be on August.
* also did not disclose some of my future plans that I’m trying to work on now, just because there’s a proper time to reveal everything 😉 *
So why did I write these things that you obviously don’t care about?
Simple. I failed to tell you that these events totally stole my “ME” time. My personal time, btw, is meditating devotionals, reading my bible plan (which is also my most challenged task as of this writing), fixing my blog (THIS BLOG), reviewing my expenses to come up to a better budget plan, declutter all of Marco’s files (Marco is my laptop), start on my “spritual journey” and “war wall” board (which I will further explain in my upcoming blog posts), learning how to cook and bake and the list goes on…
I’m not telling you that these events are not good for me, but there has to be balance in everything we do. The reason I also entertained these events because it was simply the only way I could reconnect to families and friends I have never talked to in a while. I’d like to classify myself as a social introvert and it’s really a struggle for me to go outside and interact while the half of my being wants to stay at home and sleep. Hahaha. Trust me, it’s really difficult. Lol.
So what’s really my point here?
Well, it just dawned on me that we struggle so much and push things that we want to materialize then all of a sudden, we feel tired. Our physical body is limited and we lose track of the things that really matter. It was in this moment, i tried to take a step back and review where have my passion to teach kids at Kids’ Church gone? what even happened after my very first disciple? will my “being loyal to my daily hourly schedule so I can be a morning person once and for all” ever come to pass? These are the questions I currently ask myself every single day.
So now, after all the super busy schedule, I was able to have a bit of free time. My Foundations Class every Saturday is still on-going and will be for 3 more Saturdays, I still have to attend a wedding in August, and I will still have some unforeseen events which will conflict my me time. But I know now how to properly allot time for things that matter and hopefully, everything I planned for myself will eventually work its way out as long as I submit them to the Lord.
Kissed by Fire 